Mini-Microsoft Cutting Room Floor

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Aliens and BillG - New comment on Extreme Results.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Extreme Results":

Apparently there was a secret meeting between George Bush and Bill Gates just after Gates' talks before congress and just before his trip to Mexico City.

Link here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/Aprilfoolsstupid/17896952/

What the meeting was about is rumored to have been a secret pact between Gates and Bush. Where in exchange for going to Mexico City to pronounce the need for more H1B workers at Microsoft, and thereby supporting Bush's doctrine of open borders and free trade between both American continents, Bush agreed to provide Microsoft with access to Alien technology. More notably, self-reproducing nanotechnology believed to have been reverse-engineered from a crashed UFO found by astronauts on the moon back in the seventies.

The rumor has it that the technology is a way for Microsoft to finally move into the realm of IBM. With a new research department at Microsoft in a new secret location will develop nanotechnology based chips that will give Gates his Rosetta Stone of intelligent voice and speech as well as a means to insert microcomputers into humans. A man only identified as "Menage a Trois" (referring to the wine brand as one method of installing the nano-machines and not the other French porn reference) whom the reporter would not name.

The Alien technology would at last give the human brain instant access to a built in nanotech brain computer, making human cyborgs that are 1 million times smarter than the average person. The technology is so advanced that when two people shake hands, the nano machines are injected into the skin and blood stream and begin building the pre-programmed computer in the cerebral cortex. The additional power requirements within the human body are also resolved with additional nano-power sources self reproducing in the human gluteus maximus and which uses excess human fat as a fuel.

The source explained that the reason this is being done is because humans will be obsolete by 2025 because of sentient computers and because it is imperative for the survival of the planet that human intelligence be enhanced. Expected solar activity will lead to an extinction event by 2012 if such action is not taken immediately. The reporter only briefly discussed that Bush's portfolio manager is expected to invest heavily in Microsoft stock.

(I put my money on 2012. Isn't that when the Mayan calendar expires? Or, was it the date that the Cigarette Smoking Man gave Mulder for the final invasion?)

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home