Bret Clark - Holy Smokes! - New comment on Stirring the Microsoft Comment Pot on a Rainy Wee....
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Stirring the Microsoft Comment Pot on a Rainy Wee...":
One of the best teams to work for is Bret Clark's Solutions Accelerators team.
1. Work one week per year = gets you your paycheck
2. Working hours are 10am - 3pm with 2 hours for lunch, rest of the time in needless meetings where the whole world is invited
3. Wear fancy watch, show it off to the boss = you are now part of the boy's club and in line for promotion or 15% bonus every year
4. Close your office door, hang a big sign saying DO NOT DISTURB, and take a nap or watch stocks in real time (isn't technology kwoool!)
5. Come in from the field (MCS/Consulting), pretend everyone is clueless about customers, become the boss's best friend = get the Group Program Manager job with one direct report. Then chew your direct reports ass throughout the year and make his life miserable
6. Leave Microsoft at level 62, become a vendor with Volt, come back to the team, hang out with the boss (make sure to wear good 'perfume'), have blonde hair = get hired back in one year as Group Program Manager at 65 (now that you are buddies with the General Manager!) = have three direct reports and give them hell for not doing their job
7. Get pissed off, take the boss for lunch and beers = get in line for promotion
8. If you happen to come in early, say 9am = call the boss and meet him for coffee at the Overlake Starbucks. Chat, hang out and watch the ladies until 10:30am = come back and walk the corridors with the boss pretending you just came out of an early morning meeting on 'Setting Team Strategy'
9. You are buddies with the boss and the boss moves to a new team = you better move out fast
10. Do a few worthless presentations every month = you have enough visibility = get in line for promotion
11. Setup a meeting, invite 'stakeholders' in a room that can accomodate 10 = soon the whole team shows up for the meeting since everyone invited everyone else
12. Boss has a drink with his 15 year old kid and asks his kid "Whaddya think about my idea boy?", kid says "You cool pops" = boss comes in and proudly relates the story to the team and makes his idea the strategic direction based on feedback from a 'key' non-member of the team
13. Boss knows this great gal in another team = boss hires her = gives her level jump outside review cycle = boss gives sign-on bonus = gal stays for one year, gal gets 4.5 review, gal leaves for greener pastures with another level jump = gal just got two level jumps in 1.5 years = gal still best buddies with boss
Tomorrow is my last day at Microsoft and everything written above is true.