Mini-Microsoft Cutting Room Floor

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Oongowa - New comment on 10,000 More Microsofties - What Do They Do?

Ray Myers has left a new comment on your post "10,000 More Microsofties - What Do They Do?":

The Natives is Restless!

Oongowa! Kowbunga! Wheredafugahwee?

OK, Newbie, here’s your new desk. Welcome aboard the Microsoft team! Here’s your free towel. It comes with a RFID tag that counts the number of times you use it. Try to turn it in before 3 uses and you’ll receive a mild – 50 amps – shock.

Oh, by the way, don’t pay any attention to the sideway looks you get from your current cubicle-dwelling new best friends. They’re just wondering WTF you’re doing here since they already don’t know WTF they’re doing here.

Something about online services? That stuff that’s even thinner than thin client? I guess now that broadband is here for the masses, they can store all that stuff near a hydroelectric dam in upstate Washington instead of my desktop, and feed it to me in chunks, along with an ad for Viagra, after reading my demographic cookie.

So I guess that makes you a chunk programmer, a hydroelectric-located-PC-grid-installer or a smoke-and-mirror-dog-and-pony dream weaver. Am I right? Which of the 10,000 are you? C’mon…you can tell me! What? Ray says, “Loose lips sink ships.” That doesn’t sound like Ray, to me!

Well, anyway, now that I’ve done my best work ever writing the best code I can for Vista-Word-Excel-Outlook-Access-PowerPoint-Project, I’ve become old news. Nobody’s telling me anything; nobody’s talking to me about the future and I am feeling scared and territorial, right now. So, pardon me if I don’t welcome you with open arms. And pardon me if I don’t wax philosophic about this great opportunity you have here at Microsoft to make a difference. I did, once.

(Sorry Ray, that comment seems more off than on.)


  • Judging by the Mini rejection rate and realizing that the ones that make it to the cutting room floor are probably one in a hundred and the ones that make it to the Mini main blog are one in a 105, well the whole paranoid scene is reminding me of my favorite flick, shades of the Chronicles of Riddick, where all are to be assimilated or killed and those assimilated become the undead, mind controlled `corporate' mis-uncreatives. Nothing personal MS, it will be a tough haul for a while, with all the massive errors in judgement beginning to pile up.

    Relax all you 10,000 and 70,000, things will balance out in the end, though all of you may not be there then. Life has more to offer than the protected storage at Microsoft. Reinvent. Move on. Just remember the last line in the movie, "you keep what you kill". Dude, thats deep.

    By Blogger, at August 2, 2006 at 10:12 AM  

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